Friday, July 31, 2009


By far my favorite musical artist at the moment is Jamie Cullum. There's jsut something about him that makes me Happy when I listen to him. I just love it.

I have many more things to say.

I had textversations with al three of the females whom I have had feelings for recently, today. I dont know what to think about that.

I had many a grand conversation in the last few days, mainly with the same one or two people. I wont tell you what they were about, but I will tell you that I have concluded, with the help of a good friend, that What I truly believe in is love. Love does make the world go round.

about 4 or 5 months ago, I spent every second I possibly could contacting a certain female. I now know how it feels to have that. I enjoy it. I know only good things can happen. therefore, only good things will happen.

I am sooooo fricking excited for this month. except for a little blip next weekend, its going to be so awesome. I even get to go on a date thing. which, I have never done before. wow, thats kinda depressing. but oh well, theres a first time for everything. man, I'm gonna feel like an adult fo damn sho when this month is through! The main reason or that though is probly because I'm going to be an adult.

I slept under the stars last night, It was so great.

I asked why she liked my blog, and she said exactly what I wantd to hear. I thank her again. Giving words meaning is what I have placed as my goal with this blog, I guess I accomplish it.

I need to listen to more music that is my own.

blogger friend needs to blog.

I'm a twentysomething, and thats a hell of a lot.

Things will be great, I wont let them not.

Friday, July 24, 2009

dreams tell you what you really want.

It's raining.

Some people take shots of whiskey, bourbon, milk? some people need shots of perspective. I'm here to give it to them.

We live on a planet. This planet has 6 and a half billion people on it. This planet is in a galaxy. in the galaxy there are billions and billions of stars. not the hollywood stars, actual stars. I'm talkin huge burning balls of helium and carbon, the smallest which are millions of times larger than this planet with 6 and a half billion people on it. that galaxy is in the universe. The universe has billions and billions of galaxies in it, each with billions and billions of stars in them each a vast distance away from eachother.

There are things much greater than any of us out there.

So, if you think the world revolves around you, it really doesnt.

just so you know, that isnt for anyone in particular. probly more me than anyone else.

I have spent the morning reading blogs and listening to music. I am enchanted by other peoples writing and life. I guess if you know the right people, you can find interesting things.

I had a dream with her in it last night. She said I wish we could still be friends. It made me quite sad.

laundry calls.

Thursday, July 23, 2009


Life is all about being in balance. Balancing whatever you need to balance, in order so that you dont have too much of one thing. I say this, because today, I was out of balance. there was too much anger and frustration, and not enough patience. I am still learning to live the right way. It takes a while.

I am reminded that you are supposed to have three bowel movements a day.

When I say you, I do not mean anyone in particular. I simply mean you, the reader of this fantastic piece of writing. usually my comments towards others are statements.


My grandmother arrives tomorrow. She sleeps in my bed. She will enjoy her stay.

I await many things, but at the same time, try to live in the moment. I find that a good thing.

give thanks for the blessings that this day gives us, and give thanks for the blessings that we can give this day.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


A candle sits, lit
upon a table. It flickers,
growing brighter brighter, brighter still;
it illuminates the table, and all that is on it
giving life, love, joy, peace
to the objects that it needs to.
sitting, patiently awaiting its final breath,
it gives light, good if you will,
until the almighty hand swoops down,
and with a whisper says
sleep now, slumber; like all good things,


there is an end.


I see a man, every day, he sits in the same spot, orders the same food, stares out the same window, and sits the same way. I often wonder if he thinks the same thing every day, or what there would be to think about. I wonder what great adventures hes been on. he must have had enough, otherwhise he wouldnt be sitting there every day, he would be off doing more adventurous things. I like him though, he seems to exude calm.

I hope to become more relaxed in whatever I do. Its a goal I have.

I'm too tired to continue, I hope you enjoy reading my thoughts. I enjoy putting them down.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

nebby nose

a nebby nose is someone who asks a lot of questions. like my cousin lori. I was grilled about everything under the sun tonight, and for the most part, it was not enjoyable.

I enjoyed connecting with my cousin, that was fun. I hope I made her laugh. I'm pretty sure I did.

I am overwhelmed by today.

I dont think I have the strength to do any more.

dont forget to do the dishes.

Monday, July 20, 2009

every things just a little... pissed off.

Last night I went to burger king with my father, and he was thinking about the angry whopper. he asked what was in it, the cashier dude said a bunch of angry vergetables and sauces. like angry onions, and angry sauce. my dad asked for an explanation, and he said, yeah... everythings jsut a little... pissed off.

It was quite humorous. what some fast food places will do...


my grandfather died this evening. I'm really not sure what to think, I suppose the customary reaction would be grief and sadness.

whatever, I think I will put my emotion into the performance I have to give at the memorial thing tomorrow. That will be enough.

I hope his soul goes someplace good. I wouldnt want it in some unhappy place. I hope his soul ends up in a library. I think he would love that. or in the boundary waters with his ashes.

death. blah blah blah blah. everyone dies. Its gonna happen.

I'm gonna go put some pants on and eat a little grub.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

This is deader than heaven on a saturday night.

I Spent the day in minneapolis. I came to visit my grandfather, but I ended up hanging out with my cousins who I never see. It was fun, and I'm glad I did it. Even if they are little and have high and annoying voices.

I also thought about religion and god a lot. I have concluded that I dont like almost being an adult, because that means I almost have to have opinions on all of that stuff. Like religion, and blah de blah. oh well.

I once had a conversation with tommy about religion, and he said something that I really like. He said that he believes it takes one his whole life to find his spiritual self, or meaning. I completely agree. But until I find that, I think I have to put my faith into something... So I'll just put it into something concrete, like the stars.

I do not have skype, I do have facebook. And I like conversations.

Leonard Cohen may be a great writer, but I was listening to a cd of his tonight, and I swear to god, whenever I came out of my thoughts, the first words I would hear would be "anal sex" or something like that. It was so weird.

I have no Idea where I want to go to college, and I'm already sick of people asking me. jeez, and this is only the beginning.

Have a good evening, and we shall chat more on the morrow.

Saturday, July 18, 2009


Tonight, I watched an insanely good movie. Its called garden state, And I love it. Although, When I watch movies like that I get a little sad, because I like love, and yet I can never seem to find any.

I think I fell in love with the girl in the movie, her name is samantha. She is REAL. thats what I like about her, she may have flaws, but she doesnt care about them. Shes also quirky. I like quirks. She is also herself, which is the main thing that I care about.

Anyways, I wish she was real so we could be together.

I had a really good day though. I even danced for some customers.

One of the things that I really like about the store, is that you can be yourself, and no one will care. I love the fact that my mother has created an environment where that can be the case. Personally, when I dance and do things like that, I think thats what makes people want to come back. Not me dancing, because thats not impressive at all; But the fact that I can sing and dance in front of a customer. Its fun, not embarrassing.

but, maybe thats just me. The potter does say I'm thespian in nature.

I made a new friend today, now the real fun starts.

For whom the bell tolls

I have spent the morning listening to songs from fiddler on the roof. Mostly from the movie version. One thing I noticed, is that its a lot better than our little version we have going on. But, duh. It's a movie. I really want to see it though, my mother says you can really get the philosphical meaning from the movie, whereas its harder to get it from the play. Not sure if I agree with her there... oh well. I still want to see it.

last night, I went out with friends. It was fun, but I dont think I was in a very good mood, so it wasnt as fun as it could have been. the ride home was enjoyable though.

My mother used my computer without asking, which is another thing that greatly annoys me. I hate it when people use my things without asking. Once again, its like they dont care that its not their posession, and they dont care about the other people. But, shes my mother, so I let it slide.

I had a dream in which my father told me I didnt know how to go to the bathroom. I was extremely angry in my dream, I wonder what that means.

I've got a good feeling about something. I hope I'm right.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

If I were a rich man.

I am a rich man. I am rich in all the things I want to be rich in. So, I shant complain. I'm not like tevye.

opening night was successfull, noone died, and I was only completely off in one song.

you all should come sometime. sheldon theater, 7 o'clock. tomorrow and saturday.

rita hayworth is gorgeous.

I shaved.

I need to clean my room.

I only have one more thing to say.

it annoys me to no end when I dont get a response back from a text message. even just a "cool" or "ok." It makes me feel like I'm not worth the time it takes to send a message

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

like the good book says

what makes it THE good book. there are plenty of good books. I have a whole ton on my desk right now.

my shoulder hurts. I think that should be fixed.

I am officially in love with yoga. Both its ideas and practice are very attractive to me; I feel if I continue to do yoga, only good things will happen. I feel as though every part of my life will improve.

I enjoy being relaxed, the corpse pose was my favorite thing, even though only two or three minutes passed during that time, it felt like an hour, of just my mind being blank. I loved it. I guess thats the first time ive really experienced meditation.

Oh, I'm so excited to delve into the depths of this stuff! I cant wait!

I feel like I'm stuck in a routine. Thats going to change.

I want to dream of you.

have fun in your endeavours, I know you'll do great.

I love you

I love you, I hope I can make you happy.

I love the way you talk, I love the way you talk. I love the way you are. dont change.

There are 3 things a person needs to be truly happy in this world. someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.

dont listen to anything anyone says even if I say it, unless it agrees with your thoughts and common sense.

the buddha is a great man. I strive to be like him.

cheer up, and think of what makes you happy.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

what do you do when you wake up?

When I first wake up, mmy mind is blank.

I once had a conversation with someone who said that she thought of everything that made her happy when she woke up. Me, I seem to just be a blank slate. Not until about 4 minutes after I wake up does even the thought of having to go to the bathroom come into my head.

I was just wondering what you think upon waking up.

anyways, yesterday was the longest day i have had in a long time, and today will be the exact same.

love makes the world go round.

have a grand day.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

hail mary, full of grace.

Tonight, there are many things that I am sure of.

the first thing is that I really need to clip my right pinky toenail. It's getting gross.

the second thing is that michael jackson warms the cockles of my mothers heart. she told me so.

The third thing is that the movie King of california is quite a good one.

The fourth thing is that I am really glad to be back in lake city.

The fifth thing is that I wish everything would work out great.

The 6th thing is that I hope you have a good night.

The last thing is that someone just twittered.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

the queen

marie antoinette is also not a good movie. It is awkward, and the music is out of place. I do not reccommend it (excuse my spelling).

Public enemy is not a bad movie. I quite enjoyed it.

I had some experiences today, I wont tell you what the involved, but I will tell you that people from chicago think I'm a virgin, (and theyre right) and there are racist people in minneapolis. But, at least I know that there used to be a theater where they played dirty movies on the corner of 6th and hennepin in downtown minneapolis.

I return to lake city in el morning. and I guess am hanging out with tom and krista after work. It should be fun. but, before then, I will be seeing some relatives, who I have not seen in a very long time.

I hope that my grandfather pulls through. It would make me sad if he died.

just so you know, the last three titles of my blogs are the titles of the three movies that avram rented that I have not seen yet. I have now seen volver and marie antoinette, but not the queen.

thank you.

good night, and good luck.

Friday, July 10, 2009

marie antoinette

volver is actually not that great of a movie, its really confusing, and takes way to long to resolve all the conflicts that are brought up. It annoys me.

I sat in a hospital for close to 6 hours today, not moving a lot, and holding my grandfathers hand.

I also had dinner with my friends gaseous grandmother, who is very nice, and makes delicious meatloaf.

I miss krista, mike, all those lake city people... i havent seen enough of you over the last few weeks.

I must leave for the moment. Ill talk with you later.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Today has been an extremely long day, filled with an extreme ammount of emotion.

I have, in no particular order:

Nearly cried at a hospital

Explored a girls locker room

Watched my father hit on a nurse

read a chapter of the 6th harry potter book out loud

watched silence of the lambs

made sandwhiches for old women

ate delicious chinese food

and texted, a lot.

I dislike hospitals, they make me feel fake. I feel like there are no real emotions there, everyone tries to be happy, but they turn out with this awkward type thing that no one likes to be around. Especially cardiologists like jeff johnson and left handed irishmen like eamonn fahy.

I am in minneapolis right now, and for once, I feel at home.

its good to be back.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I'm walking behind you.

Thats the title of my new favorite song. It basically desscribes my relationship to a T with someone. Every single word of it...

Anyways, the last 6 days have been... describable. For my sanity, I will not describe them. Just know, that there were good times, times where I wanted to shoot people, and times where I just wanted to cry.

I am glad to be back, I missed my favorite greatly. I am glad to have arrived back.

I hope my grandfather doesnt die, hes got some problems goin on at the moment.

I hope you dont die either, regardless if you have problems or not.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Its raining

Its raining here, where I am. 

I am in a gas station, on my dads laptop. Its fun, but, sleeping on a coach bus is not fun. neither are loud people when you are trying to sleep on said coach bus. 

It seems as though yesterday was a good day for everyone involved. I'm glad. I hope to see you soon. 

Good day, and I hope that Everything turns out a-ok.