Thursday, December 31, 2009

on the res.

Happy new year everyone.

last year was certainly a good one. well, for the most part. I think I was more depressed then I have ever been in my life for a part of it... but thats ok.

in any case, nows not the time to think about depressing things like love and whatnot. Now is the time to remember the positive, and remove the negative. Its also a time to party, but I dont pay attention to that last time.

So, I thought I would take this time to make some new years resolutions.

I thought my first resolution should be to grow a pair of testicles, but upon further review, I do have some of those. two. to be exact. so, I guess I just need to have more self confidence.

I think thats the only thing I want to work on. Everything else will come from that.

I had a great new years.

I hope this year yields more for me in some areas of my life then 2009 did.

good night :)

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Here is what I want.

this is what I want.

I want the first season of glee. I want 500 days of summer. I want ah.

I want college to be here. I want to not have to pay for college. I want a new bassoon. I want new bassoon reeds, so I can stop sounding like crap.

I want my dad to allow me to buy what I want with my money. I want a new tennis raquet.

I want one who I cant have.

what do I need?


Friday, December 25, 2009

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

It came without packages! Boxes! or Bags!

As much as I like getting gifts, I have come to realize that it doesnt really matter. I would much rather just spend time with my friends. For I know that it would cease to be about gifts, and be more about spending time with eachother, and sharing the love. I like love. its my favorite.

In related news. I think I'm in love. But its different than the other times. This is more real. Its hard to describe. In any case, the response is still the same. oh well. I guess I should be used to it.

I think I will be the greatest parent since my dad. I have decided.

2010 will be the year of josh gaining speed in the game of life. Nothing will be able to stop him. He may even Gain national attention. Just sayin is all.

I hope you all realize the true meaning of christmas. I think when I'm a parent, we wont celebrate christmas. Ill come up with a new holiday, it will be centered around love.

have a happy christmas.

Friday, December 18, 2009


when I was little, my dad taught me about fences. There are emotional fences, and physical fences.

I dont know why, but I just felt like talking about that. I feel like I cross fences sometimes.

I wish I didnt have to agonize over certain things.

The list of people that I dislike grows longer every day. someday I will write it down, and mail it to everyone I dont like. that way they could see what terrible company they are in. and maybe do things that make me like them.

yep, thats my solution.

I really really really really really really really really really really like someone.

maybe in time... things can work in my favor for once.

Monday, December 14, 2009


Today, is a good day.

regardless of the shitty test that I had, and regardless of how upset I was earlier, today is a great day.

I love choir, and money, and getting accepted to the school I want to go to, and getting money from said school.

I'm so tired, and so excited, that I dont even care about the test I have tomorrow in psychology. Ill just get up early for that.

I am the master of my fate.
I am the captain of my soul.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I think he thinks I'm crazy, or soemthing.

Here are two poems that I have found quite inspiring.

The peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

— Wendell Berry


Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

As I see it.

Once, there was a boy. He thought he knew things about the world. And then he met a girl. The boy no longer knew things about the world, in fact, The boy had no clue about anything. This girl had flipped his entire world upside, sideways, and every other ways there was. He had to learn anew what he thought he knew.

He thought he knew about love. He knew nothing!

Maybe it was not that he knew nothing, simply that he did not believe he was right.

He thought he knew about treating people with respect. He knew Nothing!

Perhaps he knew quite well how to treat others with respect, but the girl just did it differently.

He thought he knew about writing. He knew nothing!

Coincidentally, the boy had received several awards for his writing.

After the boy realized this, the girl left. and the boy was left a confused, blubbering, mess.

What I'm trying to say is, dont be insecure about yourself, you are a fantastic person! goodbye.

Monday, December 7, 2009

lets cut to the chase.

I'm not gonna be all poetic and shit, in fact, for from it.

Heres what I have to say:

The only thing we have to keep ourselves going in the world, is ourselves.

I think I'm losing myself.

In other news, This year feels like every other year except last year.

I'm super tired, so I'm going to sleep.

PS. twitter is annoying.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

the best thing to do.

I have decided that the best thing to do is to stay above it all. Dont allow yourself to be sucked into it.

That is what have made myself do. until now, that is. and then it gets blown back in my face. so< i guess that will teach me to not get involved. I'm glad its over now.

in the meantime, I'm gonna read up on my economics. and maybe do some force summation.

have a good evening, and dont stab anyone.